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Everyone is feeling a little awkward.” But the Fremont parents aren’t budging.
“Any good parent monitors what their child has access to,” says Topham.
( The average American young person spends over seven hours a day on media devices, often using multiple systems at once.
Studies show that more than 75% of primetime TV programs contain sexual content, and the mention of sex on TV can occur up to eight to 10 times in a single hour.
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Her music video for the song “S&M”—viewed more than 57 million times on You Tube so far—shows the artist, pig-tied and writhing, cooing “chains and whips excite me.” It then cuts to her using a whip on men and women with mouths covered in duct tape.
“I think denying that [sex] is part of our culture in 2014 is really not serving our kids well,” says Lara Calvert-York, president of the Fremont school board, who argues that kids are already seeing hyper-sexualized content—on after school TV.
“So, let’s have a frank conversation about what these things are if that’s what the kids need to talk about,” she says.
“We don’t say, ‘they’re going to drink anyway, let’s give them a car with bigger airbags.’” The parents note that the book was actually written for college students, and refers to college-related activities like bar crawls.
(While acknowledging this, the book’s author Sara L. Mackenzie, believes it’s appropriate for high schoolers; her children read it at 13.) The book has been shelved, at least for this year. The Fremont showdown is a local skirmish in what has become a complicated and exhausting battle that schools and parents are facing across the nation. TIME reviewed the leading research on the subject as well as currently available resources to produce the information that follows, as well as specific guides to how and when to talk to kids on individual topics.